I Need a New Mirror – Youth Ministry made me fat!

So I’ve been largely absent from my blog over the past 6 months in case you’ve missed me! And here’s why… I saw myself in the mirror. Honestly. One day I saw myself, really saw myself. Not the way I have always seen myself, but the way everyone else sees me. I finally saw myself the way somebody that just met me would see me. And I got mad. I got really angry with myself. My belly was bigger that it had ever been. I was flabby and overweight. I decided that was it. I drew a line in the sand and said this is the worst shape I will EVER be in for the rest of my life. I got a coach, spent some $$ on a workout program (p90x), and I created some space. I carved out both a physical space to workout in in my basement and made room in my schedule (bye-bye blog). I told some people (created some accountability), and I worked my butt off, 60-90 minutes a day; every day, for 90 days. EVERY DAY. It was a big commitment, but honestly looking back, I can’t believe that it only took 90 days to flip my life on its head. 3 months! I’m 48 now, what’s 3 months? I spent decades eating pizza and junk food while in youth ministry to get to where I am. I am now 6 months into working out, and am in the best shape of my life, no question about it. And I owe it all to my mirror.

Accurate self-perception is a gift. When we see ourselves the way we really are, versus the way we think we are… it’s rare. Sometimes one of our co-workers tries to hold up that mirror for us. Sometimes its a loved one that tries to get us to see ourselves the way were really are. And sometimes the Lord has to show us. Often times we get defensive and make excuses, but in reality we need to say “Thank You” to people who are willing to risk holding a mirror up to us. And then we need to start making some changes.

How about you? Are you who you think you are? We judge ourselves by our intentions, others judge us by our actions. I was fat and out of shape and I couldn’t see it. Until I did.

In what areas of your life could use a new mirror?


I waffled as to whether or not to post this. I decided the ultimate accountability is to post an embarrassing pic of yourself on your blog. Haha… There’s no going back now!


p.s. The best thing about being in shape isn’t the way I look, or the fact that I have more stamina. It’s that I don’t feel defeated anymore. You know that feeling when you should be doing something that you’re not doing, and the only reason your not doing it is that you’re not disciplined enough? That feeling is gone! And it’s fantastic to look in the mirror and not feel defeated. I feel exactly the opposite.And I highly recommend it!

Next challenge? Writing. I know I should do it. I’m supposed to do it. I feel defeated because I’m not doing it. I just need to be more disciplined and DO IT! Is there a p90x for writing? or prayer?

Ya. I should invent that.







About markmoder

10 Responses to I Need a New Mirror – Youth Ministry made me fat!

  1. bonnie says:

    Awesome, Mark! I love your insight on self-perception and your honesty with where you were at. WERE because you’re not anymore! Great work and cheers to keeping fit in ALL areas of life. 🙂 (and way to BRING IT!)


    • markmoder says:

      Thanks Bonnie. Nice to hear from you! I’ve still got plenty of work to do, but I’m thrilled I’m not the person I was, and while I’m happy for where I am, I am not yet the person I will be. Just doing my best and forgetting the rest! Love to you and your hubs.


  2. Moder says:

    Looking good, same reason I keep the gym up!


  3. I really appreciated your blog Mark. The Lord has been speaking to me loud and clear lately about my health. It is time to do something. I am heavier than I have ever been. I am 38 and in terrible shape. Thanks for the shot in the arm.
    God Bless,
    Thaddaeus Detillion
    New Life Church-Celebrate Recovery Pastor


    • markmoder says:

      Thanks Thad. Weight is something we don’t talk about in the church. But it’s as much a cultural sin as lust prolly in the US. But it’s taboo. It’s been interesting to see all the responses I’ve been getting on my FB to this post. I wrote it mostly as an explanation to my blog followers about where I’ve been… but it seems to have hit a chord with alot of people who have struggled with weight for a long time. And I’m glad for the unintended fruit. Blessings! You know what you need to do, now do it!


  4. Melody Gross says:

    Wow! Great job, big brother!!!


  5. Messa M. says:

    Well done Mark! Really.
    Contrary to majority, I totally think it’s very important to be concerned about how others view us. We definitely are accountable to God and others through our appearance, conduct (actions) and speech. I believe it shows true love and humility when we put others first by acknowledging our flaws and making ourselves vulnerable for the furthering of others and our greater good, eventually attaining complete strength.

    I’m not sure if anything I have written about my (ongoing) journey will be able to help you with your writing, prayer, etc. I made a point of writing every day in order to track progress, encourage and reflect on my daily decisions. Ridiculous circumstances beyond my control have set back my writing through the events over the last two years as you will notice. However, I’m still plugging along.
    When you’re free to browse at leisure, I would humbly like to share my stories with you. May I recommend starting from my first post?



  6. Pingback: The hardest part of Change | markmoder.com

  7. Pingback: Keep Pushing Play – My One Year Workout-iversary | markmoder.com

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